


A Simple Twist of Fate

by PerpetuallyPerplexed



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerpetuallyPerplexed/pseuds/PerpetuallyPerplexed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Zura. No matter how elegant you may think dying is, your death won’t appease your conscience and it won’t change anything. This’ll just soil your record."</p><p>"You’re the dirty one, Gintoki! You just change with the times, and you never do what you must, as a warrior and as a man!"</p><p>(Sakata, G. & Katsura, K., Episode 5)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Simple Twist of Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the conversation between Katsura and Gintoki in Episode 5, after they reunite. It's an intense exchange and I think they both hurt each other a lot as a result. Due to my recent penchant for angst I just had to elaborate.

_There's nothing to think about. Gintoki, your place has always been here, with us._

_*_

_… with me_.

Katsura woke with a well disguised jolt. He found himself still seated, back propped against against one of the thin walls of the abandoned premises where he and his faction were currently squatting. He surveyed the roomful of men gathered under his command, calming his uneven breath. Doing his best to maintain his composure, and remain the pillar of nobility and strength that the Joui forces believed him to be, that they needed him to be, amidst their fading hopes of revolution.

*

From the moment he’d spotted the familiar figure making his way through the crowded streets of Kabukichou - his lazy swinging gait, as always, belying the fearsome warrior Katsura knew him to be - he had been able to think of nothing else.

He told his faction that it was for the cause. And of course having the imposing figure of the famed Shiroyasha at their head would doubtlessly be an asset to the Joui forces. But it was more than that and he knew it. Katsura wanted more than just a white demon protecting his back. He wanted Gintoki, the man, his comrade and friend, standing by his side once again.

*

He’d entrapped Gintoki, weaving him into a plot to bring down the space terminal. He had used underhanded tactics, knowing full well that Gintoki would not volunteer his cooperation willingly. It had been his hope, that fighting side by side once again would be enough. Enough to remind Gintoki of the unstoppable team they had once been a part of, the bonds they still shared. But instead Gintoki’s words of reprimand had cut him deeply.

*

_Zura. No matter how elegant you may think dying is, your death won’t appease your conscience and it won’t change anything. This’ll just soil your record._

*

 _This’ll just soil your record_. His mouth twisted into a humourless smirk. What a joke. Gintoki knew, or should have known, that his record was already stained beyond any hope of cleansing. No elegant death would be enough to make up for the countless comrades that had been lost under his leadership, nor purge his conscience in the wake of everything else he had failed to protect. His temper had gotten the better of him.

*

_You’re the dirty one, Gintoki! You just change with the times, and you never do what you must, as a warrior and as a man!_

*

Biting his tongue too late. Regret had slammed into him like a wall of water, with such intensity it briefly overwhelmed his physical senses. Filling his ears, with a nauseous ringing, trickling down his throat, almost making him gag, settling like a lead weight in his gut. Through the shock at his own words he had seen the anger, seen any emotion that had been there, drain from Gintoki’s face, leaving an all too familiar blank facade in it’s place. Gintoki was gone, he’d lost his chance.

*

_What’s the use of fighting a futile fight? Do you really intend to lose even more of your friends for something like that? I’ll pass. As long as I’m alive, I’ll live by my own rules. I’ll live as I see fit and protect what I hold dear._

*

Gintoki had spoken but he was no longer there. At least not for Katsura. He had listened as Gintoki recounted his own personal bushido to him. _As long as I’m alive, I’ll live by my own rules. I’ll live as I see fit and protect what I hold dear_. The words that should have - and perhaps to others they had - sounded profound and earnest. In Katsura’s ears they sounded hollow.

He’d heard almost exactly the same words fall from Gintoki’s mouth countless times, but this time, although he knew the words to to be sincere, the man himself was detached, genuine emotion absent from his blood red eyes, speaking as if it was merely a reflex.

*

If he was any less of a rational person Katsura would have wished he could take them back, his own words, spoken out of anger and pain but no more excusable for that fact. Instead he had merely watched, resigned to accepting the consequences of his actions. Going through the motions as his friend cleaned up the mess he had selfishly dragged him into.

*

He smiled sadly as he remembered the scene he had fled. Gintoki, reckless as always but inevitably unharmed, the relief on his new comrades' faces, and the warm genuine smile he’d had for them in return. Gintoki, never ceasing to uphold his bushido, all while continuing to bear the pain the world had dealt him.

_I suppose it’s not so bad that an old friend is the same as ever._

He remembered when that smile had been directed at him. When it had been he and his comrades that Gintoki would recklessly protect at great risk to himself. He felt the distance between them widening, the history they shared serving not to bring them together, but to keep them apart.

Whether it was because of, or in spite of this past, he and Gintoki still shared a bond. It was frayed and in disrepair, but the thread connecting them was still there. Mending it would be harder than he had hoped, but - he thought as he rested his head back against the cold wall, a half smile on his lips - if Gintoki was willing to keep on living in this world that had wronged him in so many ways, then perhaps he would also allow Katsura to keep trying to mend that bond.


End file.
